Mom thoughts: am I doing it right?

Last night’s thoughts:IMG_2115

It’s almost 10pm and I’m sitting in bed, typing this post on my laptop with the television on low. My husband is catching up on reading blog posts or scanning the latest in sports on his laptop. I’m half asleep, the laundry is piled high in the bedroom corner, and I can’t stop thinking about the chips and salsa calling my name from the kitchen. Did I throw Vee’s diaper in the trash or is it sitting on the floor by her closet, ready to greet me with its pungent urine smell in the morning? Tomorrow, I will clean her room armed with yet another garbage bag that will get filled with broken crayons, used stickers and ripped scraps of paper. I gotta remember to wash Teddy, her panda stuffed animal, because that thing has been thru some stuff and has the smell to prove it.

Am I raising Vee right? I probably shouldn’t flavor her water so often. Total #momfail on letting her suck her thumb. If I had more willpower after Vee was born, I should’ve really tried to force the pacifier. Is she going to be as smart as kids that have gone to daycare and are learning five languages, eating at specific times during the day, and spending their days in an environment with others their own age? Reminder: check Pinterest for toddler-friendly recipes. Ugh, in about six months I’ll probably have to strongly think about potty-training. Ahhhhhhh, my back just pushed up against a wooden block. Not cool, Vee. Not cool.

This post was supposed to be insightful and self-reflective in a more elegant way. Let’s face it. It’s a pretty big deal that I’m still awake and 70% coherent… okay 50%. Being a parent is an incredible time suck. Even after Vee goes to sleep, my mind is going a mile a minute. It’s amazing how precious the few hours after she goes to sleep for the night are. I try to cram them with an insane amount of To-Dos only to end up in bed, exhausted, and passing out under the glow of the television and warmth of my husband, who is equally as tired, next to me.

I recently read this post by Austin Kleon on continuing to write after fatherhood. It gives me fuel on never giving up on doing what I leave: being creative. I’m always going to strive to involve myself in projects and have one too many sketchbooks full of drawings. I want to set that example for Vee now.

I looked at Vee’s face this morning and she looked at me like she was 20. Tina Fey’s prayer for her daughter came to mind. So perfect.

I watched this interview when it originally aired with Jessica Hische and Laura Victore, who were both pregnant at the time. They’re so right about parents and their bullshit meters.

Till next time.


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